Is my child a bully?.

Is sad to say this but according to research and other information,school students have reported an increase in bullying with severe consequences to themselves and their schools.

Bullying can be physical, emotional or social.

A recent study showed that 23% of all school students reported being the victims of a bully. Is bullying a big problem?. Yes it is. It make kids feel hurt, scared, sick, lonely, embarrassed,sad, powerless, and unable to protect themselves. According to bullying research the victims of bullying can loose interest in school because it becomes an unpleasant place to be and at least 12 children commit suicide each year because they are being bullied at school. Is bullying an uncontrollable situation?. No. Bullying is a behavior and behavior can be controlled, change or managed. There are training available for teachers and school administrators dealing with bullying and developing affective policies on bullying. These training helps schools assess and create a positive school climate.

Do you know why a child becomes a bully?. Well, there are many reasons. When a child feels unloved, alone, isolated and suffer relationship problems because friendship building skills on empathy have never been learned. This child needs attention, so decided to bullying, hoping to get the attention.

Now that you know about bullying, what you would do if your child is being bullied?. First, need to advice your child to ignore the bully, or to look for help,with a teacher, administrator or any adult near him/her.

Domestic Violence.

All my blogs are about abuse. As you know there are many kind of abuse. Such as child, teacher, student, elderly and wife abuse which are considered as domestic violence too. Today I will write about domestic violence. It is also considered as emotional abuse. These are behaviours used by one person in a relationship to control the other.

As we all know violence can be criminal. It includes physical assault, sexual abuse which is unwanted or forced sexual activity. The violence takes many forms and can happen all the time or once in a while. It is very important for us to recognize the warning signs of this violence. It will help us to preventing or stopping it.

Always remember that anyone can be a victim. It does not matter the age, sex, race, culture, religion, education, employment or marital status. So just be careful.

Do you think that domestic violence happened only on women?, I do not know what you answer is, but if you think that it happened to men too, let me tel you that you are right. There are many men abused by their wife. I understand that the most victims are women, but there are a lots of men who are battered.

Why do you think is hard to stop a domestic violence?. Well, most people who are suffering domestic violence do not stop it because exists any kind of fear retaliation against themselves or against their children by the abuser. Also when women's self esteem is low, they are unable to see themselves as worthy of seeking help.

As I tell you, it can happened to any body. it does not matter color, age, sex, education, employment, religion, culture, or marital status. just be careful. If this happened to you, please do not ignore it. Look for help.

Elder mistreatment

Elder abuse is any form of mistreatment that result in harm or loss to an older person. it is generally divided into six (6) categories such as : physical, sexual, psychological, financial, neglect and domestic violence.

According to National Committee for the Prevention of Elder Abuse (NCPEA),it is generally believe that 4 - 6 % of the elderly are abused. Approximately 450,000 elderly experienced abused in 1996 nation wide. If self neglect is included, the number is 551,000.

Who do you think are the perpetrators?. Well, those may be acquaintances, sons, daugthers, grandchildren, etc. Is sad to admit that most of the perpetrators are in the family. What is worse some perpetrators have alcohol or substance abuse problems. Here are some of the signs of physical, psychological and financial abuse, which I think are the most common in elder abuse. The physical abuse, is any physical force that results is bodily injury, pain or impairment. The psychological abuse, is the willful infliction of mental or emotional anguish by threat, humiliation, etc, and the financiall abuse, is the illegal or improper use of an older person's funds, property or resources. The perpetrators of psychological abuse against the elderly often take advantage of their vulnerability in ways that control and humiliate the victim, including: denying or creating long waits for food, medication, heat or basic care. Also taking the victim's walker, glasses, or dentures. The effects of these psychological abuse are more likely to experience poor physical health, emotional or mental impairment.

We have to be careful with our elder relatives. Make sure that they are in good hands and with responsible people. If you know about some kind of elder mistreatment report it to the National Committee for the prevention of elder abuse.

If you are one of those perpetrators that take advantage of older people think about this saying "what goes around comes around", soon or later you will be one of those.

Elderly Abuse?.

Every person, every man, and child deserves to be treated with respect and with caring. No matter how young or how old deserves to be safe from harm by those who live with them, care for them, or come in day to day contact with them. Every day, families across the nation place loved ones in the care of nursing homes. They trust these facilities to provide a safe, nurturing environment and quality care. According to a Federal Government Study, 30 percent of U.S. nursing homes were cited for almost 9,000 cases of abuse between January 1999 and January 2001. In the United States approximately 17,000 nursing homes currently care for 1.6 million residents. This number is expected to quadruple to 6.6 million residents by 2050.

We need to know and understand that Elder abuse, under any circumstances, is a crime. According to the U.S.Government Accounting Office incidents of abuse are seldom reported to police.

What do you think are the causes of nursing home abuse?. There are many causes of abuse such as inexperienced staff, Inadequate resources to conduct investigations, the stressful working conditions, etc. I think the most common cause is the Economic. With a widening gap between Medicaid payment and actual costs of care. Nursing home facilities must often cope with severely limited resources. Now I think that the greatest challenge to caregivers are those patients with dementia. How these poor staff training will manage those patients?.

All senior citizens deserve a peaceful, healthy and trouble free retired life. Most of these senior citizens have paid taxes and contributed to the benefits of society. Now it is the opportunity for society to repay them. Don't you think so?.

I can not believe it.

As you know there are many kinds of abuse. Abuse is a maltreatment, a corrupt practice. I also think that abuse is an improper use of power.

What do you think when a teacher is abuse by his/her students, and the abuse is totally extreme that the teacher has to leave her job and look for another place were to work because no body helped her. This problem happened four years ago to one of my friends who works for the District 75, which is Special Education. The principal new what happened but didn't take any action against the student. So the teacher calls to 911 and reported the problem. The police came to school and after the investigation arrested the student. But what a surprise the student came back to school next day. He went to look for his teacher and said "hi, I am back", and laugh on the teacher's face. How do you think this teacher felt in that moment?. Of course she felt humiliate by the student. She is human. She has feelings. So she decided to asks the principal to remove the student from her classroom. The principal answer was "he will be remove for three days;after three days he will come back to the classroom. During these three days the student was in another classroom. He said that he new the police just made believe to do something against him but he is in a Special Education because he has problems. He also said that he knows that he has an IEP, and it explains his ADD problem.Also he is a teenager so they can do nothing against him. No body can blame him for what he did. What do you think about this?. I'm sure if this problem were reverse. The teacher abusing her student. The Principal's reaction were different. Like many cases, but because is the student who abuse his teacher no body say or do anything to help the teacher.

You must be asking what this student did to the teacher that she had to leave her job?, and how this happened?. Well according to what Mary my friend explains me; the student was disrupting the class when she was reading a book. He was screaming, throwing paper balls and disrespecting her. She asked the student to please stop disrupting the class. The student's answer was make me. For a second time she asked the students to stop or leave the room. The students responded make me to stop or make me leave the room. So Mary, looked for help by calling the crisis team. When the student saw her calling he jumped over her and pulled her hair, slapped her face and spited on her body, by that time the crisis team was in the class room and restrain the student. Mary, wrote the incident report and asked the principal to take actions with the student, but she refused.

Don't you think that Mary, not only as a teacher, but also as a human been was physically, psychological and emotional abuse by her student?. What do you think Mary, should do?. If you work in a special education school you know that what I'm writing happen to teachers in many special education schools. This is nothing new.

Students abuse their teachers

Why do you think students abuse their teachers? There are many reasons why students abuse their teacher. The first one is, when a child do not have the base or the foundation of behavior and learning, this will abuse the teacher or any adult. This foundation start in elementary school. Pr. K.., K, first, second and third grade. I think it is the age when a child needs to receive the foundation of behavior and learning. I also think that students abuse their teacher when they know that there are no consequences for what they do. It means that the school where they assist have no discipline. what is worse their parents have no control on them. This is why students do what they want. Parents are the first teacher at home, then school teachers are the second. The discipline start at home. There are situations where parents have no control over their children because they have a dysfunctional family. A single mother, single father, the child is on grandma's responsibility, etc, etc. So the child not only feel insecure but also has no respect for the adult. Most of these children have no one who takes the time for them. Is sad but is the reality. Here is another reason why students abuse their teacher. Since teacher can not spank a child's hand anymore or lay one finger on them, children can get away with any thing in school.

I work as a para in a Special Education Middle School. I see and I know how students disrespect the paras, teachers, even the principal. Students have respect for nobody. Students abuse the staff in different ways such as verbal, physical,emotional etc. For verbal abuse, they curse, call names, etc. For physical abuse, the students throw books, chairs, pencils what ever they have in their hands. It is not only with the staff but also with other students. They also leave the class room when they want. They go to the halls and mess with others.

What the teacher can do in this situation?. Not much just put the student in time out. If this doesn't work then call the parent, and let them know that the child is misbehaving. If this second, doesn't work then the third one is send the student to the Principal's office, but when the student have no respect for the principal he or she care less what the principal does. Most of the time what the principal does is suspend the student for one or two days until the parent or guardian come to school with him or with her.

I think the discipline start at home. When a child have no respect for the teacher, he doesn't respect the parent either. Children know that teacher can do nothing to them. What is worse when a student know that they can do whatever they want and have no consequences then they rule their classroom and ran the school. Don't you think it is crazy?. What is your comment to this?.

Does Teacher Abuse Exists?

Abuse happens when the perpetrator needs to keep the victim silent. It makes the victim fearful and unwilling to reveal what is happenning. Abuse only happen when something needs to be hidden, when a relationship is unhealthy, and when inhumanity replaces humanity. It is a sign of disfunction and needs to be addressed for what it is and for what is concealing.

Until child abuse and wifeabuse were publicly acknowledged, people simply could not believe it could be true. What parents would harm their children? What man would beat his own wife? It made no sense

Now the question is Do you think "Teacher Abuse Exists?. I do not know what your answer is, but if it is hard for you to believe that teacher abuse exists remember that for many years, no one believe child abuse or sexual abuse in the church could be happening. Now I invite you to think about all problems in education that seem to be unsolvable, such as difficulty attacting and keeping teachers. Also think about the slipping scores that have put our country well behind globally, and like these examples there are more and more. All these problems exists because teacher abuse exists

xenophobic

the fear of strangers and of the unknown. I think is very scary to know he that the content of the video 'DID YOU KNOW'?, is about the technology. It explains how the Technology is advancing in our planet. It also shows how our country the United States is far behind of others in the area of education. According to the video there are some countries in Europe that are preparing their children and youth not only for the present time but also for the future. Do you know what xenophobic means?. It means technology and the Internet are growing so fast . For me in particular is no that easy to deal with the technology. I did not grow up with it. Imaging to have a computer twenty years ago in my country El Salvador, it was only for those who had money. twenty years ago computers were very expensive. Still ex pensive for those who are low income, when the salary is just for rent. Technology and the Internet is not that easy for adults. Adults with low literacy may encounter obstacles to deal with the Internet. It is because most of the Web sites that have good information require at least a high- school reading proficiency for optimal access.tell you how this technology is growing every day and it is scary because if you do not know how to deal with it you will feel lost. It make you feel uncomfortable. It also make you feel strange when you do not understand the technology vocabulary. It feel like you are in a place where you do not know what to do or where to go. Have you ever been in a foreign country? where you do not understand the language they speak and when you try your best to communicate with others and you can't because is something new for you. what about when strangers laugh about you because you have a bad pronunciation?What is worse you feel uncomfortable when everything is strange for you. It happening to me right now in the computer class . Working with "blogs", this word is new for me. Everything related with blogs is new for me, and I am trying my best because I need to pass this class. I am dealing with something that is unknow for me. It also scary when you find out about how far a way are our children in education comparing with those country who are ahead in technology.

The video Did you know? and the reading class relate in history, how the technology began, how it is now and how it will be in the future. When the technology began the mass media was One- to many, now is Many - to Many and in the future how do you think it will be?.

Do not punish with anger

This article is a continuation of punish the stealer. Since parents need to deal with all feelings they may have when a child steal. Now I will ask those parents who had to deal with a child with stealing problems. How did you feel the first time you find out your child stole something? Probably you ignore the situation, or just punished your child. Where you angry when you confront your child? yes, no. Beleive me it really make the difference. How? when you angry, mad, upset etc. and you spank your child; you discharge your angry on your child and what is worse your child is not going to learn a lesson. Your child simply will see you as a parent who punished whith out reason. He or she will see you as an angry person with out self control. Your child will learn that is ok to hit, or punish when you upset or angry. Is that what you want ? I do not think so. Many parents who had face this situation, they confess that they felt frustration. They also experimented fear and isolation. Most of these parents are single. Parents who experiment isolation is because they have no body with whom they can feel free to talk about their personal problems. What do you think about anger?. Anger is an intense emotion. It is evidence that we feel strongly about something. Every time we experiment anger it will teach us a lesson. These lessons could be what we value, what we need, what we lack, what we believe and what our insecurities are. My advice for you tonight is not to punish or spank your child when you anger.

Punish the Stealer

Luis is a first grade child. He loves to play with pencils and crayons. He has his own pencils and crayons in school. So he doesn't need to ask no body for pencils or crayons. Last week his teacher calls Luis mother to let her know that Luis, went to her desk and took a box of crayons with out asking. So the teacher thinks that Luis is learning to steal. What is worse the teacher adviced Luis's mother to give Luis a lesson. What the teacher means for lesson is to punish him. So Luis mother called me last night to ask me what to do. Well, first I do not think Luis is a stealer only because he tooks a box of crayons from the teacher desk. So I adviced her before to punish or spank her child is good to find out why he took s the teacher's crayons?. Once you find out the reason then you decide what to do. Everybody is diferent. Some people will never spank their child when is the first time to take something from other person. Others simple will talk to the child and explain that is wrong to take something that do not belong to them. Here is the big question What a bout if this child continue?. According the the Center for Effective Parenting, stealing is a common, normal behavior in pre-school age children. They also explain that when children are age of six they understand a little better the concept of ownership. Is our responsibility as parents to take the time and sit with our children and help them to understand what ownership means. If you had try to help your child with every thing. I mean by talking, explaining that steal is wrong and also the consequences it may bring, and your child continue with the same habit. Then I sugest to seek for professional help. I also beleive in pray. Pray for your child. I am sure God will help you.

Who is the abuser?

The first two blogs I talked about how parents spank or punish their children. I also talked about some consequences these parents receive for child maltreatment. Now I will present to you the question What about parent abuse? Do you know that parent's abuse exist?. Yes,it is a reality. There are many parents who suffer abuse by their children. Here is an example how this mother has being abuse by her dougther. Mis Lopez, is a neighboor, who lives in third floor. I live in second floor; same building. Mis Lopez, is a nice lady, quites, and a single mother. She has a eleven years old dougther. This girl has a big mouth. Every body in the building hear her big nasty mouth when she talks to her mother. This girl yell, disrespect, and even punch her mother. Every body in the building who know her, and know how this girl disrespect her tell her to report this abuse. Mis lopez said, she is afraid her dougther, run away from home. She prefer to suffer in silence. One day I remember I went shoping, there was Mis. Lopez with her dougther in the store. I observed how this girl yelled to her mother because she did not buy the jeans she wants. Mis. Lopez, tried to explain her dougther she did not have enough money to buy it. So guess what this girl did to her mother infront of every body?. Pushed her against the wall. What should this mother do?. Look for help, receiving counseling, or continuing with this abuse?.




According to National Clearing house on Family Violence, conflicts becomes abusive when one person uses threats, force or manipulation to gain power over the other.


I think parents in this situation need to understand that they are the adults, as parents they have the authority and leadership in family. They also need to know how to to be in charge, ro realize they have the right to set limits and to say "This is my house and you can not behave that way in it. Now What do you think about this blog?.

Why Parents spank their children?

I read an article where the father brutally punished his 12 years old son. According to Fox 29 Report in Miami, this 12 years old child was acting up in school. When his father found out that his child was miss behaving, he decided give a lesson to his child. What a lesson !. This man burned his child's leg. The mother decided to keep the child out of school to hide the injuries.

When you read a news like this one is difficult not to react against the parents. I say parents because I think the mother is guilty like her husband. Since the moment she decided to hide her child injuries. She new her husband abuse the child and she did nothing against her husband.`As a mother she is suposed to protect her child and according to the news she did not do anything against her husband. I do not understand why this mother did not take any actions to protect her child against his father. Probably this woman had been abuse by her husband too.

Burn your child's body is punishment or abuse?. Of curse is abuse. Now I would like to tell you that child abuse have consequences. These consequences are not only for the parents but also for this child. Some of the consequences these parents may receive are: the child may be remove from home, parents may go to hail and do time, etc. What ever these parents receive they aernd.

Now what do you think may be the consequences this child may confront? Well according to National Survey of Child and Adolescent abuse; this child may have Behavioral Consequences. Which means that this child may experience problems such as delinquency, low academic achievement, drug use, etc. According to National Survey, many abused children become abusing parents too.

Should parents Spank their Children

According to National Family violence Surveys over 90 percent of parents use some forms of punishment that involves inflicting physical pain when discipline their children. The question Should parents spank their children; is a very controversial question. Some parents beleive it is ok. to spank their children. Others think children should never be spanked. As adults we all know that all children misbehave at some time. It is our responsibility to find out what appropiate behavior is and where the limits are.One of the most important part to succed with our children is to have a clear meanning of Discipline. It is helping a child develop self control and a sense of limits. To experience the consequences of her/his behavior, and learn from his/her mistakes. Is very clear that Discipline does not mean punishment or conflict between parent and child. Here some advise to succed with our children's behavior. Rewards, positive reinforcement is the best technique for encouraging wanted behavior. Rewards are not bribes; they are ways to show a child that she /he is doing a good job. No more no - keep it positive, Both parents and children get tired of hearing "no" all the time. Too many no's lose their meaning and do not help a child learn what will get her/his "yes". Positive statement teach children what is appropiate. Don't dictate: negotiate , negotiation does not mean that parents or children get their way. Negotiation, when done with sensitive, makes everyone feel part of the solution to a problem. Every body like to feel they have a choice rather than they are being forced into something.

Other Links:
Spanking girls is bad!
Punishments
Agree or Disagree

Consequences of Punishment

According to National Family Violence Surveys over 90 percent of parents use some form of punishment that involves inflicting physical pain when discipline their children.After I read the Article Discipline, I think lot of parents do not discipline their children. Most of parents punish their children. What is worst those parents who punish their children do not know the consequences of the punishment. If they use corporal punishment or spank it can lead to emotional and behavioral problems. My question Why parents spank their children? I really do not know,but I think Is because they do not know what to do when a child misbehave. I also think most of the time parents spank or punish children when they are frustrate. We as adults know that all children misbehave at some time. Some children test the rules, others may throw tantrums, refuse to cooperate with family routines and the list goes on. Now the important part what to do. I think parents should teach children appropriate behavior. What the expected rules and boundaries are all about. Its important to remember the goals of discipline. Part of the goals are: help our children to develop self control, experience the consequences of behavior, and most important is they must learn from their mistakes. When I say experience the consequences of behavior I do not mean to hit them. When we hit them. What do they learn from us? they learn that is OK. to hit others when they mad. I am sure that that is not what we want they learn from us. Here some advice.Use Rewards. Positive reinforcement is the best technique for encouraging wanted behavior. Do not dictate, negotiate. Give the child a choice only when he or she truly has one.